Oneness in Marriage
When we watch #HGTV together we almost always comment to one another how odd it is that almost every couple is so opposite in what they like and dislike... traditional vs modern or beach vs mountains, etc. One of our favorite lines from one episode is where they walk into a house and the wife says, "If you like this then I question everything about you." To which he responds, "I'll take it!" 😂 It's clearly working for them but I have to say I am so happy that I married a man where we've most always (99%) agreed on things in life. Not just HGTV of course (that's only a lighthearted super-surface example) but decisions in life where we haven't had to talk one another into coming over to our side of the decision. We vowed on our wedding day to "become one from this day forward" and in so many ways we organically fulfilled that vow. In today's society there are so many life decisions that couples face: Should the husband/wife pursue a once in a lifetime career opportunity out of state while the other spouse desires to stay? How should they navigate our changing world in our own home? How should they merge their finances and responsibilities? When is the right time to plan a family if they desire that at all? Achieving oneness in your marriage is possible and while so many say it takes a lot of work, we Honeycutt's beg to differ. We've somehow always been on the same page when it comes to the major life decisions and that has come through being in tune with one another on a daily basis. What happens when you're in tune with your spouse? You grow together. So as your desires may change and life's seasons adapt, talk with one another so that you can grow together. See how the other person is feeling about your season or the decisions you're facing so you can learn where they're coming from in their thought process and why. Naturally, I believe that will cause you to become in tune with how your spouse thinks and result in being on the same page or at least knowing what page their going to be on.
"I believe marriage can be work, yes - however it can get to a place where it just works....."
"You know the depths of me and love me the same." Getting to know the depths of your husband takes vulnerability on both sides of the relationship. Words can draw us closer together or spread us further apart. Are the hateful comments when you're angry really worth it? Hateful words only tear you down and it's super difficult to rebuild that level of vulnerability after being torn down. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” [1 Corinthians 13:4-7] Practice true love, love that knows the depths, love that listens, love that asks questions, love that wants to know why, love that draws you closer to being on the same page, love that cultivates oneness in your marriage. I have been married to Cameron for 6.5 years and I love getting to discover the "why" behind his thoughts which allows us to grow together and remain on the same page in almost every aspect of our lives. As one of us has changed, the other always seems to change alongside as well. I believe marriage can be work, yes - however it can get to a place where it just works organically. You can be a well-oiled machine marriage team moving through life together. It is possible. It is attainable. There is hope for the future. I'm praying for you today in your relationships and marriages that God would show you the depths of your spouse and bring you closer together in oneness.