Becoming a mom brings about so much change in your life: personal, public, work, family life and everything in-between. When Cameron and I first got married I was totally the type that thought I could do life alone. I never had this urge to "need" a man to complete me or a baby to make my life whole. In a nut shell: I thought I was Miss (or Mrs.) independent and could take on the world regardless if I was married or a mom - or not.
After being married for 5 years, Cameron and I felt that it was time to begin trying to have a baby. By the time we had been married for 6 years, we had baby Auden. For Auden's first year of life I somehow balanced it all and made it work... I woke up early to have a moment for myself, worked out, had my coffee, got the baby up, got the baby fed and ready, got ready myself, loaded the baby in the car, drove him to daycare, then backtracked to work and worked a full day (and sometimes full night) before returning to pick up the baby and drive home to unload him and begin the bath time/bed time routine before even thinking about "what's for dinner" or "oh yeah... I have a husband, where's he at again?" This was a 5 sometimes 6 days a week deal. Are you worn out yet from reading that? Yuck. I LOVED what I was doing for a living but it was killing my family and I didn't even see it until later on. Balance HAS to be achieved for a healthy family. You can work and have a healthy family life as well but you have to work at it a little more, for example, learning to say "no" to things that aren't priority. This is another topic that I'll dive into more in another post. At this point in my life I went from being the Mrs. Independent that I was and became focused on something that mattered more than me being able to do it all myself. I began to focus more on my child as an instinct. I changed as a person. All of a sudden in my personal life and work life, my child was the most important thing in my world. Every decision that I made I began filtering through what was best for Auden. I became a mom who put her child first and in doing so it changed who I am as a person entirely. I have always loved and cared about family but I certainly had a lot more personal drive before having a child. I went from not caring if I had children to wanting 5 children! WHAT?! That never would've been something you would have heard me say 5 or 6 years ago! Some women handle this transition well while others struggle with it. It can be a slight identity crisis for sure but I want to encourage you that if you go into it with no expectations and let the natural happen you'll be far better off. It's ok to go into mommyhood thinking that you want to work and then get into it and change your mind - some families cannot do this as they need that extra income, while other families may have to budget more accordingly in order to do this, while yet other families don't need the extra income and decide that staying home is simply best for the whole family. It's also ok to go into mommyhood thinking that you want to stay home and then realize that being a stay-at-home mom isn't cut out for you. Some women go into the season of mommyhood eager to get back to work. Either way you choose, be graceful with yourself as you ease into your new identity as a mom and allow yourself to change your mind one way or the other. The things you may have always thought may not end up quite that way. Be open to the change and navigate it with ease. Children change our lives, but it's always for the better. Our schedules can change accordingly.